Miss Personality

Hi. Hey. Hello. Thanks for joining me for this week’s regularly scheduled blog post. It was an adventure getting here, at least for me. But that’s a behind the scenes kind of moment.

If you saw a recent Instagram and Facebook post from this week, you know this post had not been thought of as of Thursday. I was struggling hardcore. Like, really hardcore. Thursday, I was so discouraged I didn’t think I was even going to write one to post. But here we are. And it ended up being the longest one, I believe.

So, here’s the deal. Why so discouraged? Because the views on my posts haven’t been as much as I thought they would be. And I really wasn’t happy with how I wrote the post from last week. And I just got down on myself for not being better at it and not being on top of it. Before I started posting the blog at all, I had three of four posts already mostly written. I was far ahead so that I wouldn’t be rushed. And now look. I’m writing the beginning of this blog post on Friday afternoon at work.

Here are some things I had to remind myself. Views don’t matter. I started this because it sounded like fun for me and I had encouragement to do something like this. It was a way to share something I’m passionate about and that helps me get through my days. It was something I wanted to do because I love to write and it was an outlet for some creativity that I don’t always get to use. So, it’s okay if only a handful of people read the post. I enjoyed writing it, so that’s all that should matter, right?

Last week’s post wasn’t what I thought of as “up to par.” It just didn’t seem to flow well. But that happens. I’m sure it won’t be the last time that happens either. Sometimes words don’t flow as easily or as seamlessly as I want them to. And that’s okay. I’m not a perfect wordsmith, no matter how much I would love to be.

So, that brings us to today’s post. There were a few options I could go with. I thought about talking about my wood burning hobby, what I’m planning for St. Patrick’s Day for work, or even some baking. But those just weren’t sticking out like I wanted. I will absolutely cover them in the future. I’m super excited to share my plans for St. Patrick’s Day for work; and for Easter after that. So, don’t worry. I’m not ignoring those ideas. I just . . . had a different one.

Can I just take a little bit to talk about being yourself? Being myself? Being ourselves no matter what? It’s a personality embrace blog post, and I don’t know how we got here. But we’re here, and I think it’s gonna be okay. It may seem a little like I’m chasing rabbit trails, but there’s a method to the madness. There also won’t be as many pictures this time, but I hope that’s okay.

Let’s take a look back. Not too far because I don’t want to have to relive all the anxiety of middle school; there’s enough of that for my adulthood to deal with. But we’ll go back to high school. When I was a follower and easily led. I allowed myself to be trampled. I had my own opinions, but it didn’t matter. I went along with what my “friends” said.

I was a “weird” kid. I talked a lot, but I wanted to feel like I belonged so whatever I said was probably just what everyone wanted to hear. I knew what would be the right thing to make my friends happy. Even if it wasn’t what made me happy.

I didn’t really let a lot of my true personality out. Except in some of my outfits. They were . . . a choice, to say the least. One of my favorites was a green Marshall University sweatshirt, a denim skirt, rainbow toe socks, and fake Birkenstocks (because the real ones were expensive). I guess that should have been somewhat of a sign that I would love putting together strange outfits in my future. I enjoy standing out a little bit now.

I let a friend, or a few friends dictate how I lived. I waited for certain people in order to do things. I didn’t do things I wanted because those friends thought it was dumb. I didn’t admit to liking things because friends would say they didn’t like it and I thought they would make fun of me for liking something they didn’t. Because I saw it happen to other people. And I wanted to be liked. So, I just made sure I did what was accepted.

But you know what? Even though it took a while, I have finally accepted that I am my own person with my own quirks and likes and dislikes, and I’m allowed to do what I want because it makes me happy. I’m also allowed to set my own boundaries. Boundaries that are not dictated to me, but are realized and enforced by me.

So, here are some things about me and my personality that I hid before, and sometimes find myself trying to hide now because it became habit. But I’m learning to embrace the me I am.

I’m loud. Sometimes too loud. I laugh loudly, especially if something catches me off guard. I like to talk, and if I get excited about something I’m talking about, I get loud about it. I can’t help it, but because it has been pointed out, I try to make sure I don’t get too loud. And I get embarrassed about it and then get quiet and stop talking because I don’t want people to be annoyed by me. I’m trying to find the balance so that I’m not annoying, but so that I also don’t clam up completely.

I am sarcastic and sassy. And all of my emotions are in my eyes. I don’t have a great poker face. If something annoys me, my eyes are going to tell you. And if there’s an opportunity for a sarcastic comment, I’m your girl.

I like to wear fun things. You can ask most people in my life, especially my coworkers, if there’s an opportunity to dress up in costume, or just something out of the norm, I am the first one to get excited about it. If we can dress up for Halloween, I’m in costume. If we can dress up for Christmas stuff, I’ve got at least 4 Christmas sweaters to choose from. If we can dress up for the Friday before the Superbowl, I’m going to rock a football shirt and a bow. I will one-hundred percent be the one to go all out. And it makes me happy.

My very good friend’s daughters were in cheerleading, and they had tons of cheerleading bows. Well, they were no longer needed, and they were gifted to me. So, I have a bunch of different colored cheerleading bows at my house. Also, we started having casual Fridays at work, which includes being allowed to wear jeans. So . . . I have decided “on Fridays we wear bows.” I match a bow to my outfit and it makes me happy during the day.

AND I found these cool earrings sets on Amazon where you can mix and match and make new combinations every day to go with any outfit, so I can wear different earrings all the time to go with whatever I’m wearing. Let me tell you, it has been the most fun to do.

Plaid, pink, and cats are personality traits. You will not be able to convince me otherwise.

I’m an introvert. I know, being loud and liking to stand out with what I wear doesn’t usually seem like they go together with being an introvert. But it’s true. I have my extrovert times, but they drain me. Being around a lot of people is draining. Going to the grocery store is draining. I get drained easily. And to recharge, I need my alone time. And sometimes, I need a lot of it. It was important for me to realize this. It’s not a bad thing to go off to my room by myself, or even getting out of the house for a little while. It’s actually necessary. I no longer feel guilty about taking introvert time for myself.

I’m not about to try and toot my own horn, but I do want to talk about my love language. I feel like I have a love language I’m good at giving, and a love language I prefer to receive. I don’t really know if that’s a thing, but that’s kinda just how I view it.

The love language I feel I do the best is gifts. I love finding things that I think my friends or family will love. I love giving them the gift and watching them open them. It just makes me feel so good.

And at work, I love doing things for my coworkers; setting up the bulletin board for the holiday or season, planning little activities to go along with those holidays, that kind of thing. On Thursday, not only was it Random Acts of Kindness Day, but it was also 2/17. That may not mean anything to you, but to us, 217 is our branch number, so that’s our day. So, I got us doughnuts for breakfast. Not to get recognition or anything, but because I wanted to.

The love language I receive best and that fills my tank is words of affirmation. Someone texting me to see how I’m doing, telling me they’re thinking of me; someone telling me they’re proud of me; someone being intentional about talking to me about something that’s important to me. Those things make a world of difference to me.

That whole thing probably sounded like rambling and just a bunch of talking about myself. But I said it to make a point. If you’ve stayed this far, thank you. I hope you’ve enjoyed it.

Here’s why I wrote this post this way. Sometimes, being ourselves is hard. Sometimes we’re embarrassed by something we do, think, feel, like, dislike. We become embarrassed because of societal “norms” and are influenced by the people around us. Sometimes we don’t know how to be ourselves without explaining it to others because they just don’t understand what we do.

God made you just the way He meant to. My life verse that is tattooed on my shoulder, is Psalm 139:14; “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (ESV)” I was made by God as one of His wonderful works; and so were you.

Tell the story. And tell it loud if you need to. Laugh too loud because you feel it in your bones. Take time for yourself. Recharge your batteries how YOU need to. Make your own boundaries. Don’t be embarrassed for liking something because someone else doesn’t. Wear the outfit. Wear the bright colors. WEAR THE BOWS!